Thursday, October 8, 2015

After all she is a girl.




I observed him carefully as he walked to the door. I knew that time was running out but suppressed the urge to check my watch. I took a deep breath and started counting in reverse under my breath. "Ten, nine, eight, seven,”

I knew that they could reach here at any moment. I subsided my ill thoughts and moved towards the stage as they called my name. The auditorium was more crowded and that made me nervous. 
The host handed me the mike and went on smiling. I gave a quick glance on the crowd and it fell on her. She had taken one of the corner seats and I didn’t mind letting my eyes watch her. She didn’t smile back.  Although she should have.

‘A warm good evening to all the delegates present here. My name is Pranshu Ojha and I will be introducing you to this new amazing B-plan.’
Slowly as my presentation begin to gain its momentum, the crowd begin to engage with me. They were nodding along me and they were believing in me. I was no more nervous. I was no more impatient till I saw few cops entering the hall. They should have allowed me to complete my presentation. They took me as everyone present in the auditorium were still in shock. I didn’t see anyone but I wanted to see her. Anu didn’t mind to give a strange look alike the other delegates. She knew what was happening. She knew everything. She didn’t utter a word.


Few months back:


I had glued to my screen for the last 15 minutes. It was flash sale of the new R11 flagship handset on flipkart; I didn’t want to miss it. The last flash sale had lasted only for a minute.

 I called Anuradha. She didn’t answer. I reached AIIMS. It was just 7 minute drive from my apartment and I reached there within 5. I waited outside fearing of getting caught by professor. I gave a glance on my phone and was about to swipe my thumb on the call button when I suddenly felt the warmth of someone’s eyes. I saw that Anu was already standing in front of me. She was looking more stunning than usual. She sat behind as my engine and heart, both roared to life. We zoomed to watch matinee show of Bajrangi Bhaijaan.

‘You should have come to the class. The other girls were asking for you.’ she said as loudness in her voice decreased in a gradient fashion.

‘You feel jealous, huh?’ I said as I went past a trolley. The accelerometer was at its best.

“Why should I feel jealous?’

‘C’mon Anuradha. After all you are a girl...’ I begin to smile and she too joined me. Thanks to the mirror; it didn’t allow me to miss her single act even while riding.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
The next day when I was in my apartment, Gyan Singh came to my room. Gyan Singh was one of the coolest friend that I had. I hadn’t too many friends but Gyan was too good among them. He was a computer expert and was doing his graduation from NIT Raipur from IT branch. Despite of different colleges and different background, we shared a great bonding. I had first met him when I had gone to his college for promoting ‘IRIDESCENCE’, our annual college fest. Gyan singh had helped me a lot in promoting the same and was the campus ambassador for NIT Raipur. Gradually we became friends. We even had our apartments in the same area.

Yaar, I need some money’

‘Money? But I am still dry Gyan.’

‘C’mon man. You can lend me that money which you have saved for R11 handset. I promise Pranshu that before the very next flash sale, you will be having your complete money back with some sort of interest too.’

He gave a cunning smile. Being frugal, he used to manage beer bottles at very cheap rates and I used to be his hang-out partner. Definitely he was talking about that ‘interest’. But the thing that amazed me was the source through which he had come to know about ‘flash sale stuff’.

I gave him the money and didn’t ask him anything. The very next day when I met Anuradha, I asked her whether she had talked with Gyan.
‘Yeah, Gyan had called me and was asking for some favour. In return I suggested him your name.’
I was silent.
‘C’mon Pranshu, he is a good guy. He will return your money before the next sale.’ she said as she took my hand in her.
The adjective that she had used for Gyan didn’t go well with me.

‘You guys talk often?’ I asked as I withdrew my hand.
Her eyes went wide and big. Definitely she had big eyes.
‘You jealous, huh?’
‘No, of course not. Why should I be?’
‘Mr Pranshu Ojha, I know it. After all I am a girl.’
And she smiled and she smiled with laughter in her eyes. She was damn cute.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...
‘What are you thinking?’ she asked as she set aside her strands of hair that had fallen in front of her and me.
‘There is an Entrepreneurship Competition called B-plan in Babylon International and I think that I should register myself. I have a product design and I think that it has enough potential to win the competition.’
She hugged me. It felt like that the entire cosmos was praying for me.


Present day:


I was brought to Saraswati Nagar Police station. It was just near to NIT College.
‘Sorry Pranshu, but I had to take action. Your girlfriend came herself along with his father yesterday and registered FIR against you. We had to book the case under 66A of the IT act. She said in her statement that you had uploaded her intimate pictures on your Facebook account.’
Yadav ji was the sub-inspector of Saraswati Nagar chowki and we both hailed from Balia district, UP.  He knew me for months and I respected him a lot.

He gave me a glass of water and was constantly staring at me.
‘And you believed her?’ I asked as I kept my head lower than usual.
He was silent as grave.
 ‘C’mon Yadav ji, you think that I may have uploaded her intimate pictures. For god’s sake Yadav ji, give me a single reason.’
I took a pause and a deep breathe.
‘I have had a perfect relationship with her. In fact even her father knew me very well. Everything was alright. Then why the damn I would do such type of filthy act?’
‘We will try our best Pranshu. Don’t worry. I have known you for years and I surely think that you must be innocent.’
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Some familiar voice startled. I saw that Gyan singh was getting smacked by the constables. Yadav ji was busy in making his tobacco.

‘Sir, what is happening?’ I said with enough loudness to startle my in-mates.

‘Pranshu, we think that Gyan singh may have uploaded those pics.’

‘Yadav ji, he is my friend. Why he would even think of doing that?’

‘Friend. Huh? He was dating Anuradha for the last several weeks. I have even the proof. He wanted to frame you so that she could break up with you for no reason and he could take the advantage of the situation. And most importantly, we found that someone interfered with the IP address of the server from which the pic was uploaded. He is a computer expert. He was even close to you and I don’t think that getting your password and altering the IP address would have been a big deal for him.’ He alleged as he hit his abdomen with his leather boot.

 ‘Sir I swear on my mother. I know many things but I never intended the same. I even met Pranshu when he was at Babylon.’ He explained as he tried to stand on his feet.

‘Yes sir, he is telling the truth. Before my presentation in Babylon, he had come to me and explained me everything. He was pretty sure that he could be framed in this incident, so he better thought to meet me in person.’  

Slowly he came towards me and begin to kiss my hand. I couldn’t realise when he begin to sob hard. He knew that my single statement against Gyan Singh could have put him behind the bars. He knew that he had cheated with his best friend. He knew that I could have sought my revenge for the act he had done. I didn’t seek revenge. In fact I returned his favours. The thick bars prevented him from hugging me.

He walked towards the door as he gave an apologizing look. I wished that I could never meet him.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
The very next hour she came. I should have hated her but still I was thinking about the scarf that she had worn. That was mine first gift to her. She gave me a look that I was not familiar with.
And finally she came. She was looking confused but she wasn’t sad. She couldn’t fake her emotions. After all she was one of the worst actor that I had ever met.

Before she could ask her question with ‘Why’ I boomeranged the same.

‘Why Anuradha? What went wrong? Gyan was never a better option than me.’

‘At least he is a man who respects girl, Pranshu. When you changed Pranshu. When?'

Well I must agree that her acting skills had improved exponentially. She was a much better actor now. In fact I presume that every other girl in this world is a potential contender of Oscar.
‘I think I changed when you were trying to log in my Fb account from your macbook on Saturday evening.’

‘What?... What are you saying Pranshu.’ She asked as her eyes went big.

‘C’mon Anu. Don’t even try to give me that shit’

I took a deep breathe.

‘I know Anuradha. I know everything. I am calm and I am silent; it doesn’t mean that I know nothing. I know that you and Gyan were dating behind my back. You two were close for a long time. Raipur is too small Anu, and it is even smaller for couples like you and Gyan. I was aware about your incongito mode relationship. But I chose to remain silent. I was sure that in order to subside me, you would frame me. So I took prevention.’
She was perplexed.

‘When we had gone for the matinee show directly from the college, I had come outside in midst of the movie lying that I had to go bathroom. In fact I went directly to the security counter where you had submitted your laptop bag. I secretly installed key logger in your mac, Anu. All the operations that you executed thereafter on your mac was constantly being sent to my pc in form of logs. Even the skype call that you had done with Gyan on Thursday evening and the porn you watched on Friday afternoon, I knew every details.’

I could feel the potential tears in her eyes.
‘You think Anuradha that you cleverly stole my password from my PC. You aren’t that smart Anu… After all you are a girl. I know that you saw my password from the ‘saved password’ option that you accessed from security option in Mozilla. It wouldn’t be tough for me Anu to convice Yadav ji about the things that I just explained you. In fact I know that you uploaded those shits, Anuradha.’
She had begun to cry now.

‘Then why didn’t you tell him the truth?’ she asked as she was still crying.
‘Because I still love you damn!!!!! I didn’t want to seek revenge. I just wanted to return your favours. You wanted your father to believe that I was not a good guy. Here I am Anu. The whole world is hating me for no reason. You wanted Gyan singh. You could have just told me Anu. Why all this crap? Why?’
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
The very next day I was bailed out. Anuradha had taken back her case. Yadav ji told me that he was going to come to my place for the celebration. I couldn’t refuse him.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
‘Pranam Pranshu ji. What you did seems a magic to me. How you planned these all stuffs and convinced her? How?’

‘I made an offer she can’t refuse.’ I said as I prepared my shot. 

‘But there is something, Pranshu. Something, that I feel you are hiding.’

His eyes were curious. I couldn’t resist the impulse and finally I spoke.

‘The moment I installed the keylogger to her MacBook, I saw that she had kept a huge collection of my pics. The pics that I had never seen. The pics that she had accidently and intentionally snapped. There were many pics. She had made congratulatory pics, if in case my product may have got selected in that B-plan. She even had made encouraging pics, in case if I would have failed in the competition. She didn’t know if she loved me or not. After all she was a girl Yadav ji. I couldn’t give time to her. I got too busy in my work and down the line she found affection in Gyan’s arm.’
‘I couldn’t get you Pranshu. What are you trying to imply?’

 ‘When she was trying to upload those pics from her MacBook, I too had opened my Facebook account in my apartment. I was keeping constant check on her activities through the logs. Finally when she begin to hover on her intimate pictures, I understood what she was going to do. She was going to upload those pics.  In the interim, I locked my account temporarily from my PC. She unsuccessfully attempted to upload her pics. She tried to refresh a lot and then she stopped for a while. Meanwhile, I immediately uploaded her pics after unlocking my account. When she refreshed mine profile from her MacBook, she saw that the pics had already been uploaded, thinking that she had done her job perfectly.’

‘In fact I had uploaded her pics Yadav ji.’ I concluded as I took my final shot. I raised towards the balcony. 

‘But why so? Why didn’t you allow her to upload them? Why the shield?’


‘I just wanted to prevent her from any further damage, Yadav ji.  I thought that if she refused to take back her case, then the charges might go against her. It could be revealed easily that she had uploaded the pic if the case may have went to the experts; in that case she could not have done anything. So to prevent her, I uploaded the pics. After all I loved her. I just didn’t want to see her behind the bars. After all she is a girl. 

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Engineering your life



Go to google.com.

Type ‘define: engineering’ and hit the enter button.
The branch of science and technology concerned with the design, building, and use of engines, machines, and structures. The action of working artfully to bring something about.

That’s what Google says. But in India, engineering means different. Engineering means respect. Engineering means regard. Engineering means that you have made your father proud. Engineering means that you have made your clique proud. Engineering means that you have subsequently increased your dowry by few lakhs. Engineering means that some of your relatives have become jealous of you. Engineering means that you have done something fruitful. And so if engineering means more and then it demands much more.
But what if you aren’t an engineer. According to some hypocrite people, it means that you have just been deprived of power that is vested to you by the constitution of India via Article 21. The freedom of living. You don’t have ‘right to live’. And so it’s better that you commit suicide. And every year many guys do so.
The result times are some of the toughest ones. It just takes a few seconds to access the result, but many days to accept the same. The result that sometimes surprises you. The result that sometimes disappoints you. The result for which it takes months of preparation. The result for which you have to load tons of frustration.
During result time, no one talks much. Neither you nor your parents. Verbal communication ceases and non-verbal communication finds its new importance. Eyes talk a lot and you too reply with your eyes. Eyes express yours feeling better than your patois.
And as soon as the result is declared, you become numb for a time frame. It doesn’t matter whether you have succeeded or not. In either condition, you are going to lose your friends.


The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you. – Bette Midler



Those few black inked characters on the screen convey a lot. Your phone begins to ring. Your friends begin to call up. They begin to show up. If you have made it, you just want to say it to everyone. But if you haven’t, you just switch off your mobile. You just want to stay in your home coiling up by yourself.  You think and then you repent. The whole world seems to be asking you about the result. You want to escape this competitive world and search your solace. You want to be surrounded by someone who is true, someone who could pat your back and say ‘Hey, it’s OK’. But the reality is the far distant cousin of fantasy.

Parents begin to doubt your hardship. And you lose your confidence. You begin to think about your teachers who somewhere in your past had assured you of your success. You begin to think about all those friends who had praised you for your talent. They were so damn wrong. You were so damn wrong that you got flattered by those comments. Your neighbors begin to show up. They begin to judge you.If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.

They want to know about your result. And they end up the conversation talking about the result of their distant relative. And in each case their relatives override you. You don’t want to talk with them, but your father has to. You remain in your room and you ignore the conversation. You don’t want to listen to them, but you can’t help yourself from hearing them. You finally sense the soreness that your father’s voice is laden with. You coil yourself even more than a snake. You do keep staring anything that comes in your line of sight. Your mother approaches you with her silence and tries to break yours but in vain. She assures you that everything is goanna be alright. But it’s you and only you who know that nothing is going to happen alright. You begin to tame a ghost in your heart. And that ghost reminds you about your failure whenever you try to be smart. That ghost is going to chase you for the rest of your life. All your life.
Everyone seems to be a stranger to you. And you too want the same. Each guy approaching you for the first time seems to make you uncomfortable. He might ask you about your result. The conversation ends up very quickly. And all the time, it ends up with the suggestion. The guy who doesn’t knows even the Newton’s second law of motion or secant of 30-degree passes by giving you an advice. One of those many things that you already have in abundance.
But life is not about how bad you fall after it hits you. It’s all about how you dare to stand up and hit it back with more intensity.


Nights are longer for those who dream. Days are longer for those who work hard to realize those dream.



You work hard and harder. You run the race. It doesn’t happen easily. If it would have been easy, anybody could have hit the bull’s eye. But life tests hard. And accepts only those who are tougher than the toughest. Finally, you have become someone, but not an engineer. You have created your identity but not as an engineer. You have found your niche and that’s too without being an engineer. Life is what you make it. And life is not about being an engineer. It was never about being an engineer and it will never be. You are more than that and you deserve more. One day you will have your footprint on the pages of history and sands of time. You have to believe in something because you have no other choices. In fact, you never had any. It’s time to Run.




This article is an excerpt from my book  'The Cut-Off List' 

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